Had a panic attack today lasted 3mins 

I had group today and I think that made me have one. It shows that I’m no where close about healing even thou it’s been 9 years. I think that made my mood , feel sad and down cause I miss him and talking about him is to hard. I know I should move on and yada yada , but after today I don’t feel like I know how. I could never forget my father he was my best friend and I miss our fishing trips and hoping trains. Yeah trains they would stop just long enough for us to hop on the back so we don’t get caught. It would go do an the track to a business and when it stop we would hop off and go fishing for 4 hours cause we knew that train was going to came by. We did that all the time and you know what I was never afraid about getting caught it was fun and I’ll never forget our last fishing trip he was showing off with his fly  fishing  which he knew how to do. He saw a log and decided to stand on it. So he went to let go of the pole and fell all the way in we was laughing so hard and he got up from the water picked me up and said your turn and he threw me in and we was throwing sea weed at each other omg that always makes me laugh that’s one moment I will never forget. I still don’t know how to fly fish I tried it it’s way to had my daddy was talk  5’9 he had long arms so he could do it. I’m short I’m 5’2 small arms lol I couldn’t do it.. That will forever be in my memories… R.I.P 


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