My story part 2

My life has been no roses and flowers it has been a crazy roller coaster. At the age of 13 years old my ” Real Mother” who I will not name is not worth saying left me with my Grandma my daddy mom who became more than a Grandma I name her Grams she is my mother she took me in when no one else wanted me. The black sheep of the family in not even sure how I got that title. What do I do? What did I say? Why was I casted out from my own family? Questions I will never understand to this day. I’m a good person. I have a sweet pure heart who just wants to help others the best i can. So how does helping others still cast me out.. I have always done my best to show that if you just get to know me you will see how good of a person I am.. Grams come to me and I will never forget her words. She told me to always love myself , you have to show yourself that you can be anyone you want to be as long as you Believe in yourself. Don’t worry what your family is saying  and doing to you.  Focus on always having faith in your life. Know that my love for you is all the ones who casted you out. I took there heart’s out and healed it and have you more love for you. Stand up tall , be Proud and just know when I leave this world behind my heart is always with you. I’ll always watch over you and when your time as ended here on this planet I’ll be waitting…. 4 days later my Mother went to BE with the Lord.. I always wonder if I am making her proud I know she told me to make me proud , but I wonder if I make her proud on what I’m doing in my life. She teached me to help others who need the help. I try so hard to do her right. I want to be her and live her life. I crashed a few times and a few times come to many and I wanted more than anything to be in her living arms again that I tried to kill myself 4 times and she would always bring me back and I remember did my mother turn her back on me why didn’t she want me with her?? Then I found out why. My daughter’s they needed there mommy around to see them get married have kids and be there Grams. She was telling me that it just wasn’t my time. That was the last time I tried to kill myself. I hated myself I was so ugly , ride , shelfish , didn’t care about anyone else and what harm I was doing to them..That was my wake up call for me. I got the best doctors on my team , my wonderful caseworkers , my Support group , my daughter’s , my boyfriend/Hubby to be oneday. That is worth living in its self. This was hard for me to write but talking about your secrets are met to come out cause maybe You are reading this and you can relate to it maybe I can help you. Thank you for reading and God Bless

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2 comments

  1. Alexis Rose · November 20

    So glad you have good support around you!

    Liked by 2 people

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